


capsize

by lmnbrg



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Family Angst, Internal Conflict, Parent Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Post-Manberg-Pogtopia War on Dream Team SMP (Video Blogging RPF), President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo Needs a Hug, Toby Smith | Tubbo and TommyInnit are Siblings, dadschlatt is real here, give him hugs, i love smp!tubbo so much, no beta we die like men, that au makes me cry, why don't the sbi love tubbo i'm hurting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:42:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28194165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lmnbrg/pseuds/lmnbrg
Summary: Tubbo thinks to himself.Why doesn't his family love him as much as they love Tommy? Why is he always left in the dust by everyone? Why is it that the only decision he took led everyone to hate him, to leave him?He didn't ask for any of this.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit & Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Technoblade, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit
Comments: 29
Kudos: 418





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**Author's Note:**

> NOTE: his name isn't mentioned, but schlatt is tubbo's biological dad! just a heads up because it's sort of important :]
> 
> man i'm in my feelings over sbi not caring about tubbo once again.. pls just take care of him and tommy they're just kids 

_“I'm sure whoever left you here loved you very much, Tubbo.” Philza smiled bittersweetly, picking up the small kid in the box up. “I'll introduce you to… your new brothers, okay?”_

Tubbo wondered.

_“I like the bee on your shirt!” Tubbo's new older brother, Wilbur, cheered. “You'll love Tommy. He's around your age!”_

_Tubbo wrapped himself with the blanket around him, cringing in embarrassment. He feels like he doesn't fit in — just some hours ago, it was just him and his dad. There weren't this many people._

_“This is Techno, Tubbo.” Phil put a hand on Techno's shoulder as he waved to Tubbo with no energy at all. “He's Wilbur's twin.”_

_Tubbo nodded, waving back. A bit afterwards, the child who Wilbur talked about, Tommy, played with him for a while. They had fun, but Phil could see how lost Tubbo looked. He didn't exactly know what to do._

Tubbo thought about it so much.

_Phil's family is nice. It's been nearly four years that they took him in, and they have been treating him very well. Hell, the conditions are way better than those he had when he lived with his dad._

_He already had good memories with all of them, and there were things he would never forget about his found family._

_Tubbo loved it when Wilbur played the guitar for him, and he could sing along with the melody. He loved it when the brunet picked him up and spinned him around playfully, making him giggle. And he also loved it when Wilbur told him ‘good job’ whenever Tubbo handed him a drawing of their family._

_Tubbo loved Wilbur a lot._

Tubbo missed Wilbur.

_Technoblade was a great older brother to Tubbo, and all of them. Even though it might not have looked like it, he was very caring._

_Every now and then, Techno would pat Tubbo's hair and ruffle it, telling him that he's a good kid. He would also walk him around the neighborhood often, and introduce him to kids his age. Techno wouldn't know, but Tubbo realized his brother checks on him during the night to make sure he's sleeping well._

_Tubbo loved his eldest brother a ton, too._

Tubbo missed the Technoblade he knew when he was a kid.

_Phil was such a great dad, Tubbo thought to himself everyday. He appreciated him and everything he did._

_In the beginning, Phil would ask him, ‘what can I do to make you feel like home, Tubbo?’ frequently, and it made Tubbo feel like he's cared for. Phil would cook his favorite meal whenever Tubbo was feeling down, crying because he missed his dad. Tubbo knew that whenever he was facing hardship, he could count on Phil._

_Tubbo loved his new dad._

Tubbo asks himself what he did wrong to make Phil hate him.

_Tommy._

_Tommy was Tubbo's favorite person in the world, he loved him so much. Even though they haven't been together forever, Tubbo feels like they have known each other ever since he can remember._

_Ironically enough, Tubbo was older than Tommy by some months. Although, Tubbo would always follow him everywhere, and do as Tommy does. Tommy was reckless and carefree. He always says what he thinks, and that's what gets him in trouble most of the time. However, Tommy always helps Tubbo in everything and anything, and vice versa._

_Tubbo was sure he never had a better friend than Tommy._

Tubbo wished Tommy was still alive.

He looked at the night sky, by the window in his house in L'manberg. There weren't any clouds, and the sky was covered by stars. The cold breeze was hitting Tubbo's face softly; it felt like a gentle hug.

Tubbo doesn't remember what a hug feels like anymore.

Staring at the other side of his (almost empty) country, Tubbo could see Phil on the balcony of his house. Phil was also staring at the sky—is he thinking of Tommy? Techno? Wilbur?

It felt overwhelming.

Why does his family hate him?

Tubbo loves them. He loves them so much. Phil didn't know him at all, yet he still took him either way. Wilbur and Techno didn't have to act like his older brothers, because they aren't, but they still did. Tubbo didn't ask Tommy to be always by his side, to stick with him, but Tommy never left him.

But… why didn't that last long? Why would Phil, Techno and Wilbur drop everything for Tommy, but not Tubbo? Aren't they his family? Aren't they supposed to stick together?

Are they leaving him? Just like his father did?

Will they leave him in a box, by someone's house, and hope they'll take him in and take care of him?

The only sounds Tubbo could hear were crickets and crying leaving out of his own lips. Before he would be able to tell, he tasted salt. He hugged his legs to himself, imagining it was Tommy hugging him instead.

It was all his fault, wasn't it? Whose fault would it be, if not his.

It's because he's the president, Tubbo assumed. But… Wilbur elected him. He didn't ask for it. Tubbo didn't ask to be president, he didn't ask for that much responsibility. He also didn't want everyone to leave him, nor for his cabinet to make decisions for him. He didn't want to lose his most important person in the world, but he still did. Tubbo didn't know why his dad and his older brothers didn't love him anymore.

But he still blamed himself for everything that has been happening.

They can't see it, but Tubbo is just a kid. Just like Tommy. His family doesn't realize it, but Tubbo needs as much help as Tommy does. Tubbo still sees Phil as his dad, but Phil doesn't. Tubbo loved Wilbur, but he can't say that to his face anymore. Wilbur's ghost has left him as well. Techno doesn't even want to look at him in the face.

And Tommy… Tommy gave up, and it was Tubbo's fault.

Tubbo missed being a child. He missed the feeling of carelessness, the feeling of just doing whatever he wanted to have fun. He missed laughing with Tommy everyday, just messing around with no worries at all. He missed not being afraid of starting another war just because he and Tommy wanted to be kids.

Tubbo missed it when his family still loved him, and when Tommy was still by his side.

Finally laying down in his bed, Tubbo hopes he will fall asleep without having any nightmares and that when he wakes up, he's not president anymore. 


End file.
